Friday, June 27, 2014

A Brief Update

I haven't blogged around these parts in ages. Soooo much has been going on. Mainly, I was pregnant. It was another roller coaster pregnancy except this one had the most tragic outcome ever. 

I was admitted to the hospital for the second time (read about the first admittance here) on June 3rd after having another heavy bleed at home. After 10 days, two very heavy bleeds, three days on Magnisium sulfate and two blood transfusions (four bags of blood and one bag of plasma,) Kallan Jay was born on June 13, 2014 at 4:23am at 25 weeks 2 days. He weighed 2lbs exactly and was 13.75 inches long. He fought very hard but sadly his lungs were just too immature. He got his angel wings at 12:27pm while I held him in my arms.
I want to write up all the details but my heart can't take it right now. I'm devastated and confused and kind of angry. I just don't believe it. I'm in denial and numb.
I checked out of the hospital on the 15th and promptly packed our car to drive 19 hours straight through the night to escape reality. We're spending four weeks with the Ketchup fam. 
I'm dreading going home because I can't hide forever. 
People have been asking what they can do for me and aside from your thoughts and prayers, Nurse Loves Farmer is doing a fundraiser to raise money for the hubs and I to get memorial rings. The ring I plan to get has a glass stone in the center that will contain some of Kallan's ashes so I can have him with me daily.